Last Day at Home

Dad's condition continues to decline.  For the last few days it has taken 3 people to handle him at home. Two people to help Dad stand up from the bed or a chair, and one to change his clothes, brief, etc.

Mark and I have been coming home from work 1-2 times during the day to help mom get dad moved from place to place within the house.  I have been going over each evening at 9:00 to help mom and Mark get dad into into bed for the night.

It has become physically impossible for one person at home to be able to handle him, and get him moved safely from place to place.

For the last week or so, we have been touring and interviewing nursing home facilities in the Salt Lake Valley.  We decided on Garden Terrace, for the time being.  Garden Terrace is a skilled nursing facility that specializes in Alzheimer's care.  They organize their patients (or residents) in various groups according to how far advanced the Alzheimer's disease has progressed. Being an Alzheimer's specialty facility was somehting that brought some comfort to mom.

The only downside to Garden Terrace is that they are private-pay only (meaning they don't take Medicaid patients.)  For now, that's OK.  Dad doesn't qualify for medicaid right now anyway.  However, once his resources have been depleted, we will have to move him to a medicaid facility.  We are still investigating medicaid skilled nursing facilities for a potential move in the future, should it become necessary.

Over the last day or two, after we initiated the process of having Dad admitted to the nursing home, I couldn't help realizing that a lot of things may be happening for the last time:

Dad's last night at home, in his own bedroom.  Dad's last meal together with the family (sloppy joes and steamed vegetbables.)

In reality, dad may never return home again.  The home he has lived in for the last 45 years.  He doesn't really have a comprehension of what is about to take place.  With his hearing loss, and his cognitive loss from the Alzheimer's,  it is very hard to communicate and to get through to dad.

In our hearts, we don't really want to make this choice. We wish that we could continue to care for him at home, where he gets personalized attention.   Mom and Mark have been worn down physically, emotionally, and mentally to nearly the breaking point.  Mom has hurt her back trying to stoop, bend and lift too much.   However, it has become impossible to take care of  dad at home any longer. 

Tomorrow will be a day of great change for all of us.  But especially for dad and mom.  Tomorrow will begin a new era in their lives.